Gentlemen, draw your lots

This is quite important. Deciding who goes in each time. We need to consider the personal attributes of each team member. The right personal chemistry.

And, most important, whether your musical tastes match.

So we used science. OK, we actually used scraps of paper and a hat.

Team 1

Neil B
Ian H
Richard F

Driver - to be advised

Team 2

James W
Greg R
Jeremy C

Driver - to be advised

Team 3

Andy D
Tom W
Rob L

Driver - Phil S

No-one escapes - biogs will be published soon.

All the gear, no idea

We've got a good number of volunteers. Pretty close to the nine we need, actually. But all of them blokes, it has to be said. There are several reasons for this:

• That whole "sharing a hotel room thing" was never going to be that appealing
• Men tend to have a malfunctioning common-sense circuit

I got the cyclists to send their details in so we could keep track of things. All I got was a list of blokey nick-names together with a litany of all the gadgets they could bring; bikes, satnavs, iPhones, weird cycling gadgets involving funny shoes and drinking tubes.

This was, for some reason, hilarious to the ladies in the office.

We could well be the most well-equipped team ever to crash and burn in Cornwall after six hours.

Oh blimey..

We've had our first donation at the JustGiving Site.

Real money has been donated. Suppose we'd better crack on and do this, then.

Team building

For this to work we're going to have to have teams within a team. (Is 'sub-team' a real word? Didn't think so). So we need nine riders. Not quite there yet, but there's plenty of time.

Slowly, but surely, people are getting on board. The weekly(ish) meetings are beginning to make sense. We're starting to think about things like:

• Route - what's the best way to do this? Obviously we can't use busy roads if people are cycling - especially during the night - but we do need to keep it direct if we can.
  
• Stopping-off points - between riders and then between teams.
• Hotels - this is still a point of contention. Some people want to keep this as low-key as possible, with camping being discussed. Other people (we'll call them 'sensible people', shall we?) say that this is a silly idea. Long-lost contacts at at hotel chains are being dug out.
• Bikes - now this may sound daft. But at least one rider doesn't actually have a bike. Which could be interesting.

We've started to think about publicity. At the end of the day, the whole purpose of this is to raise oodles of cash for a good cause. So people need to know about it. JustGiving, here we come...

Taking shape

The route is beginning to look right. Starting at 6.00am on a Friday at Land's End (most end-to-enders do it this way as the prevailing winds are at your back). By sundown on Friday we'll be somewhere around Bristol, maybe into Gloucestershire.

Saturday sees us heading straight up England, running parallel to the Welsh border and making for the Lake District. With the quieter roads in Scotland we should be at JOG by the end of Sunday.

Of course, there's no actual stopping as such. Someone's going to be cycling at any time throughout the day. There will be hotel rooms at three locations, which we'll swap between teams. The concept of hot bunking has been discussed.

Apparently, it's all the rage in the submarine service.

Any takers?

So far we haven't quite got everyone we need, if the plan is to succeed. Unless people are going to agree to do a lot more cycling than is practical. Or healthy, for that matter.

So the word is going out. People are looking at their colleagues in a whole new way. "Do you think so-and-so would be up for it? They look vaguely fit."

There's now a small group of us meeting up once a week to agree a plan and think about who else we can drag into this. Things are changing fast.

A plan emerges

We're beginning to have something resembling a sensible plan.

The whole 'sleeping in the van' thing was never going to be a success, to be honest. There's something about spending three solid days either cycling, or in close proximity to a bunch of blokes who have just been cycling, that failed to grab anyone's imagination.

Funny, that.

So we'll split into smaller teams. At any given time

• Team A will be cycling (one rider at a time, swapping with his mates along the way);
• Team B will be moving itself into position ready to take over from team A; and
  
• Team C will be resting/sleeping, ready to take over from team B.

This involves a whole bunch more organisation, but has the distinct advantage of being marginally achievable.

Now we just need to perfect it. And find some people to help us do it. Some bikes might be nice, too.

A meeting

It's one thing for a couple of blokes to come up with an idea at their desks. But to put some flesh on the bones, we really needed to get some more people involved. And this meant a Friday lunchtime pub visit.

There was a number of us gathered around a table. "Do you do food?" we'd asked the somewhat under-utilised barman, to be answered in the negative. This possibly explained how we were the only people there. It being lunchtime, and all that. When we'd walked in, he'd broken into a sweat at the thought of pulling a few pints. Asking for a couple of packets of crisps caused hyperventilation.

We'd gone into the pub with Richard's Plan:

• Some blokes
  
• One bike, shared by the above-mentioned
  
• A van, always moving
  
• Cyclists sleeping in the van between stints
  

OK. So not really a "Plan". In fact, it was pointed out that this wasn't a Very Good Idea.

By the time we'd emerged into the daylight an hour later, Plan Mark II was emerging. And we were a little hungry.

End to end

Land's End to John o'Groats. 900 miles, near enough; the longest distance between two points on the British mainland. It's often referred to as LEJOG or simply 'end-to-end'.

There's a whole bunch of records for completing the trip:

• Running - 9 days and 2 hours
• Motorbike - 15 hours
• Unicycle - 14 days and 12 hours
• Cycle - 41 hours and 4 minutes

Apparently the RAF did it in about 45 minutes once, too.

Not having access to jet fighters we'll have to stick to pedals. As has already been pointed out, this normally takes a good fortnight or so. None of us could spare that amount of time, so the relay idea took shape. One person in the saddle constantly, 24/7, swapping every 90 minutes or so with the next team member. Three teams of three riders, with planned sleep and rest periods. And drivers to ferry everyone around (which is where I come in - fatboyfat is not an ironic nickname).

Now we just need to find some people.

In the beginning

It all started with a conversation. Richard was wondering aloud, "What Big Thing can we do this year?" The capitals B and T were practically audible.

We wanted to do something to raise a huge wad of cash for a good cause. The cause in question being Macmillan Cancer Support, our Charity of the Year. (More capital letters; it's clearly catching). For last year's charity, someone had cycled across the country visiting each of our nearly 50 branches in a week. They raised a lot of cash, but this time Richard was itching to get involved.

"How about Land's End to John o'Groats?" someone asked.
"Nah. Takes too long," replied another. "It's 900-odd miles - you'd need to be superhuman and even if you did eight hours per day it would still take too long."

Richard was thinking. He's my boss. I can tell these things.

"How about a relay?"