Queasy Riders

On the road again

2011-05-19T23:23:00.000+01:00

And so it starts once more. Been a while, hasn't it? After a year's break, there are stirrings amongst the Queasy Riders.

That's not a pleasant image, is it? Move on.

We are plotting. Watch how we plot. There are plans afoot. Keep 'em peeled, folks...

Homeward bound

2009-07-19T16:03:00.001+01:00

100 miles to Coventry. Sunshine most of the way typically after 2 days of rainshine.

Can highly recommend cooked breakfast at the green wellie stop and the lamb burgers at tebay services.

We have establised that the gladiator movie theme tune is the definative sound track for driving through glencoe. And that it is impossible to sleep in the back of a Citroën Picasso. Particularly with a fenlander behind the wheel!

-- Post From My iPhone

Take me home country roads

2009-07-19T12:52:00.000+01:00

Alas, all three teams are now heading south having devoured a
veritable nutritious delight in the form of a fry-up. And bought some
tack. Greg, aka Doormouse, was especially vulnerable to tack purchase,
his eye drawn as if by an eye magnet to some of the worst merchandise
yet invented.

And of course, the weather is now glorious following three days of
more rain than you can shake an umbrella at.

That was the Three Peaks Cycle Challenge. We did it. Woo!

The Fenlander

Sent from my iPhone

That's one small step for a man...

2009-07-18T21:48:00.001+01:00

...one giant leap for queasy kind.

At 7.30pm the forward party reached the summit of ben Nevis less than 48 hours from leaving the top of snowdon.

The whole team made it - 2 drivers included despite injuries, detours and other encounters.

A great adventure. We are all shattered and looking forward to proper beds!

See you all tomorrow.

Jc

-- Post From My iPhone

A race against time....

2009-07-18T14:39:00.001+01:00

And so it begins...

25miles, an hour and a half to get to Fort William before the last climb, some of the toughest terrain in the country.

No problem.

Team 3 to the rescue.

-- Post From My iPhone

Team 3 Update

2009-07-18T09:16:00.000+01:00

Team 3 aka Facebike pick up the virtual baton in about 45 minutes for
the last push towards that tall chap called Benjamin Nevis. Then only
the small task of climbing the UK's highest mountain!

Fenlander

Sent from my iPhone

Team 2 update

2009-07-18T07:28:00.001+01:00

After driving a drunken army veteran to hospital, where he promptly
plastered himself to the front entrance, Team 2 left Dumfries at 0300
heading north. Currently just south of Glasgow

2 in the bag!

2009-07-17T16:57:00.001+01:00

For most a steep 5km climb. For one intrepid rider a 10km extension after his chain snapped 7 miles from base camp. Comiserations to the stig whose non wheeled transport and lack of sleep let him down. To all those back in the office have a great weekend!

-- Post From My iPhone

Badger waste disposal?

2009-07-17T09:03:00.001+01:00

Don't get many of these in Coventry!

-- Post From My iPhone

Dark and scary...

2009-07-17T02:56:00.000+01:00

Team 1 have just finished their leg. It was dark. Very dark. It was wet. Very wet. And we won't talk about the hills. Ever. But our work is done for the night and we're back in England. So we're heading north to wait for the others at Scafell Pike in the Lakes. And we're now going to go to sleep. Hopefully except the driver...

The Nags Head

2009-07-17T01:50:00.000+01:00

Team 2 are attempting to sleep in a pub car park close to Ellesmere
Port. Oh, and it is raining..... In fact it hasn't stopped raining
since we started.

National Brummy Day

2009-07-17T01:33:00.000+01:00

Today is National Brummy Speaking Day or something equally regal so,
in honour of our driver who hails from the National Democratic
Republic of Acocks Green, our Star In The Reasonably-Priced (But
Ultimately Woeful) Car, Team 3 says...

Bostin'

All day breakfast

2009-07-17T01:01:00.000+01:00

It's now 1am, I'm pretty sure that's not fresh.....sod it...we'll take
4!!

1 down!

2009-07-16T20:20:00.001+01:00

1.45 to the top of snowdon. Visibility zero. Great fun!

-- Post From My iPhone

Wales!

2009-07-16T15:44:00.000+01:00

3.40pm: Team 1 crossed the border into Wales on our way to the start line...

And we're off!

2009-07-16T15:31:00.001+01:00

Team 3 checking in...

After a brief stop at JC's to pick up a bike rack, we're Snowdon bound.

Oh did I mention the Citroen has a 'nifty' iPhone holder....apparently you can call shotgun for the backseats!!

Hunty

-- Post From My iPhone

We're off!

2009-07-16T14:39:00.000+01:00

Team 1: Last to leave. Even after a stop at Morrisons for Jaffa Cakes and then a trip back to hand in my car keys (doh!) we're ahead of teams 2 & 3. Apparently team 2 have picked up a 1970s Raleigh Chopper for Greg. Oh this is going to be fun...

We're off

2009-07-16T13:15:00.000+01:00

Well Team Badger is moving...... To the bike shop to buy Greg a
bike...... Don't ask

How much packing

2009-07-15T21:37:00.001+01:00

Just how much stuff do you need for a 40 hour trip! Hope the rest of team facebike are travelling light otherwise the poor citroen is gonna struggle.

Weather forecast

2009-07-15T10:34:00.001+01:00

Weather forecast

Rain. Followed by showers. Interspersed with drizzle.

As Rob, said, "It must be summer. The rain's falling vertically."

Snowdon..... the warm up

2009-07-13T22:22:00.002+01:00

Mountain number one.... and no we won't be using the train.

Dedicated followers of fashion

2009-07-13T22:20:00.001+01:00

While we're in the mood, more thanks to Serigraphia, digital print and design gurus extraordinaire, for supplying these rather spiffing t-shirts for the team:

Each one has a personalised back with the team member's nickname on it. I'm very pleased to report that the 'FATBOYFAT' one comes in XL.

Liquid refreshment

2009-07-09T22:09:00.001+01:00

A big "Thank You" to the good people who employ my wife. Not only do they (largely) keep her out of trouble, but they've supplied us with drinks for our challenge:

Mainly bottled water and some of those isotonic sports drink thingies. Plus some Pepsi Max because, well, you have to rock out sometimes.

We will most likely be broken men at the end of this; sleep-deprived physical wrecks. But at least we'll be wonderfully hydrated physical wrecks.

Just like Lance Armstrong

2009-07-07T16:48:00.003+01:00

Greg, looking bothered, recently.

The following conversation between Greg and Ian was overheard the other day:

Ian: So have you got hold of a bike yet, Greg?
Greg: Yes, I'm borrowing it from my brother.
Ian: So what's it like?
Greg: I think it's made from solid steel. It's a bit heavy.
Ian: Don't you think that might cause you a problem? You're going to be cycling up hills.
Greg: Mmm. Yes. The tyres won't help, either.
Ian: Has it still got mountain bike tyres?
Greg: Yep.
Ian: Don't you think you should change them for road tyres?
Greg: Nope.

We're going to enjoy this.

Fundraising - another good cause

2009-07-03T11:38:00.002+01:00

The previous post about fundraising reminded me that there's an other good cause being supported by all this effort.

James P is raising money for Pancreatic Cancer UK, in memory of his father who sadly passed away last month. The rest of the team is right behind James with this, and if you'd like to support him, his Justgiving page can be found here.

Trickling in

2009-07-01T21:32:00.000+01:00

Before we get too carried away with plans and things, just a quick reminder of why we're doing all this.

The funds are beginning to come in for Age Concern & Help the Aged. And if you haven't yet donated, you know what to do.

"Fellers, I got a plan..."

2009-06-26T21:04:00.001+01:00

Jeremy has been working hard on the plan. Or, as it should be written, The Plan.

Those of you who were watching last year will remember The LEJOG Plan. Using most of the colours available on MS Excel, it determined, down to the last minute and final mile, everyone's place. Who was cycling, who was driving, who rested, who wolfed down Jaffa cakes. It was more than mere organisation; it was a work of art.

And it was out of date within the first three hours.

Not Jeremy's fault, we'd just got all excited and pushed on. As a result we were way ahead of the plan. Jeremy is determined that this shall not happen again, so we have fixed handover points between each team. So it's supposed to go something like this:

Climb Snowdon.

Team 1 ride to Ellesmere Port then drive to Wasdale Head to sleep.

Team 2 drive to Ellesmere Port, rest, ride to Lancaster, drive to Wasdale Head, rest.

team 3 drive to Lancaster, sleep, ride to Wasdale Head.

Climb Scafell Pike.

Team 1 ride to Dumfries then drive to Glencoe to sleep.

Team 2 drive to Dumfries, rest, ride to Loch Lomond, drive to Glencoe, rest.

Team 3 drive to Loch Lomond, sleep, ride to Nevis - joined by other riders at Glencoe for last 20 miles if they wish (this is meant to be a great, mainly downhill, stretch that everyone wants a crack at).

Climb Ben Nevis.

Beer.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Accommodation. Or the lack, thereof.

2009-06-12T21:24:00.000+01:00

OK, now it's getting worrying.

I thought Richard was joking. but it appears that we are going au naturel.

I should rephrase that, as it's clearly a disturbing image. What I mean to say is that until we get to the end, we're not sleeping under roofs.

A couple of the guys in my team are talking about tents. I'm trying to see just how far back the seats in a Citroen Picasso can go.

Which perhaps leads to the second disturbing image in the same post.

A worrying moment

2009-05-22T19:55:00.001+01:00

"Oh yes," said Richard, "I think it's only right. Otherwise you're just going to be sitting around, aren't you?"

Jon covered himself in glory last year by abandoning his driving duties temporarily to ride a bike over the Scottish border. Us other drivers thought this was a poor show.

"Yes, I really think we drivers should volunteer to climb at least one of the mountains."

Steve and I are going to have to have a word.

Team C

2009-05-15T19:47:00.001+01:00

Jeremy C.

Ian H.

Andy D.

Phil S (team C driver).

Clearly a team of talents. However, we're not certain if the talents in question will be of any use when it comes to the actual 'riding and climbing' bit of the challenge. Three out of the four team members are confirmed iPhone addicts so will probably spend the entire time cooing over their latest cool applications. The fourth team member might be merely an embarrassing Brummie, but he does at least have blogging privileges.

Team B

2009-05-15T19:39:00.003+01:00

Tom W.

James W (some say).

Greg R.

Steve W (team B driver).

Another heady mix. We're not too certain what it's a mix of, but it's a mix, nevertheless. Encouragingly, Greg hasn't touched a bike since last September. But he tells us he has been training for the mountaineering by climbing stairs a bit.

Team A

2009-05-15T19:29:00.000+01:00

Rob L.

Richard F.

James P.

Jon S (team A driver).

Introducing a new Queasy Rider for this year, James P. JP is a keen mountain cyclist, to the extent that the only helmet he possesses is a full-face job. We think he might be trying to out-Stig the Stig. As for the rest of the team, a healthy mix of iron-willed monosyllabic determination and howling insanity. A good mix, then.

Team selection

2009-05-13T19:25:00.000+01:00

This time we're going to have a degree of science in team selection, we said.

We need to have a balance of skills and experience in each team, we said.

We should carefully consider the different characters involved - everyone's strengths and weaknesses - and make sure everything fits together. We said.

"OK, someone write down the names on slips of paper. Who's got a hat?"

Creature comforts

2009-05-08T17:49:00.002+01:00

"This time it will be different," intoned Richard.

I put down my cup of tea. Greg swung round from whatever fiendish thing it was he'd been doing to a spreadsheet. There was expectation in the air. Richard continued.

"We faffed around on the LEJOG last year. All that nonsense with Travel Lodges and the like. Quite apart from the cost, they took us off the route a little bit. So I think we should keep it simple this year. Who's for camping?"

There was a pause.

Ever since a week in North Wales in the early 80s, sitting in a rain-lashed ex-army tent in what was apparently an open-air wind-tunnel, I have proudly avoided the alleged delights of camping. Greg, veteran of several music festivals, was perhaps marginally more enthusiastic but was still hardly bubbling over with delight.

There was another pause.

Richard sensed the tension. Employing the diplomatic skills for which he is universally famed, he went on.

"Well, I think it's a good idea...."

The reason why we're doing this

2009-05-01T22:10:00.001+01:00

As if "mucking about on bikes and up hills" wasn't enough of a reason.

This year we aim to raise funds for yet another good cause - Age Concern & Help the Aged.

OK, I know that sounds quite a bit like two good causes, but they are merging to form one organisation. Between them, they do a lot of good work for older people. Campaigning, direct support, financial assistance, there's a lot they can offer.

At first, you might think, not the most of exciting of causes. But we all get old, we all know someone who might need their help. Spend a little time, like I have, understanding the issues that they're working to overcome, and hopefully you'll agree.

And if you'd like to help, there's now a place you can go.

The Plan. Well, a plan, anyway.

2009-04-24T21:52:00.002+01:00

So here's how it's going to work.

As per last year, we'll be needing three teams, each with three cyclists and one driver (this is where I'll hopefully come in, my physical prowess not having developed much, if at all).

Thursday 16th July will see us driving out from Coventry to get to Snowdon. Once there, all nine riders will climb and descend. Apparently there's a very nice caff up there now.

Once everyone's back, one rider will start off, heading in the direction of the Lake District. He'll be replaced some two hours later by rider two, then a further two hours later by rider three. The second team takes over from rider three and the cycle (no pun intended) starts all over. One team three has finished its stint it hands over to team one all over again.

This way everyone gets a cycling phase, a rest phase and a 'driving like maniacs to get into position' stage.

When we reach the next peak all nine riders, no matter what they're supposed to be doing at the time, have to get kitted up and climb. No-one's mentioned anything about the drivers' climbing responsibilities yet.

Which suits me just fine.

A decision

2009-04-17T18:54:00.002+01:00

The Three Peaks Challenge it is, then. For those of you don't know, the Challenge involves climbing the three highest peaks, respectively, in England, Wales and Scotland. The Peaks are:

Snowdon (Wales - 1085m)
Scafell Pike (England - 978m)
Ben Nevis (Scotland - 1344m)

And here's the map:

View Three Peaks Challenge in a larger map

Normally the Challenge involves completing all three in 24 hours which, given there is 450 miles of driving, makes it difficult enough.

So we're going to cycle between them instead. This will push the event out to 48 hours (we're not superhuman) but the combination of cycling and climbing makes it hugely, erm, Challenging.

Another year, another meeting

2009-04-10T22:42:00.003+01:00

We're suckers for tradition. So there was really only one place the first 2009 meeting of the Queasy Riders could happen. The pub.

"What are we going to do this time round?"

The suggestions came thick and fast.

John O'Groats to Land's End?

Dover to Cape Wrath?

Canoeing from Coventry to the Coast?

Five capitals (London/Edinburgh/Belfast/Dublin/Cardiff)?

Whatever it is we do, I'm still not getting on a bike if I can help it.

Oh no not again

2009-04-09T10:39:00.000+01:00

"OK," said Richard, "what do we do this year?"

Pictures speak a thousand words

2008-09-14T18:00:00.001+01:00

Fifty nine hours, fifty nine minutes and thirty seconds of constant cycling saw us here - the other end of the British mainland.

Enjoy the pictures. We do.

Re: High road, taking thereof

2008-09-14T11:00:00.002+01:00

Tell you what, Scotland is beautiful.

Although you can always guarantee on someone coming along to ruin the view:

A quick note about progress

2008-09-13T23:58:00.002+01:00

The more perceptive of you will have noticed that there is a lack of progress updates today. However, you mustn't take this as an indication of a lack of progress.

In fact, all teams are doing well. Tremendously well, in fact. So well that there is literally no time for the considered 'sitting down and writing about it' that we'd normally need. We're moving through the country at an unbelievable rate of knots. I'm writing this at a Travelodge in Dumbarton, north of Glasgow, on Saturday evening. My day started at 1.30am today in South Wales.

The original plan would have had us at Carlisle at this point, maybe breaching the Scottish border in the early hours of Sunday morning. We're a good seven or eight hours ahead of our original schedule. There are some scarily quick people on bikes. Whether the thought of a pint at John O'Groats is helping to concentrate a few minds, I'll leave you to guess.

But to sum up, we're doing well. And if you'd like to show your appreciation, you know what to do.

Oh. My. God.

2008-09-13T07:02:00.003+01:00

Getting up at 1.30am is no fun.

Getting into a car in a wet and windy Travelodge carpark in Monmouth, Wales, is no fun.

Listening to Rob - capable of only two words, "Breakfast. Petrol." - is no fun.

And then I plant my foot down on the accelerator. "Where are we meeting up with team two, Tom?"

"How does Lancashire grab you?"

Blimey.

Mudguards optional

2008-09-12T21:56:00.000+01:00

As we hit Bristol the rain started. There was a succession of misnavigations and morale started to slip a bit.

According to myth and legend, there is a cycle bridge over the River Avon. We couldn't find it. The good people of Bristol City Council clearly like to keep it a secret. Andy thought he'd found a way get over, so we drove over the road bridge to meet him in Avonmouth, taking ages due to roadblocks, etc. Then he called us:

"Erm, sorry guys, they've actually chained and padlocked it shut. You'll have to come back and get me."

"Stay where you are."

Which he didn't do. Because as we struggled back over the Avon, the call came through.

"Made it! Although I'm now stuck in downtown Avonmouth. On my own. On a racing bike. Erm, the natives are circling. Help."

So, employing intrepid swearing, we got back over the river to find him again. He'd handed over to the next team so the relay was unbroken. However, he was now being stalked by the locals. It was like a military extraction - Black Hawk Down without the helicopters.

And this was the wreckage we retrieved.

Cornwall, we have a problem

2008-09-12T14:00:00.000+01:00

"We seem to have lost Greg."

"Is it serious?"

Greg was cycling on Cornwall's largest road. He had to take a left, the junction with Cornwall's second largest road. It is a big junction. He hadn't made it. Given this was the first time he'd been on a bike without lollipop sticks in the spokes, this was a cause for concern.

"OK," said JC over the phone, "we're going to go the way he may have taken. Can you guys take the northern route and start looking for him, in case he's realised his mistake and tried to correct it."

At one point someone was thinking about calling local hospitals. Nothing like a bit of measured drama.

But we found him. He had realised his mistake, but getting back on track involved, in his words, "the steepest hills in Christendom". Here he is explaining what happened, using his personal map:

True story: at the point I took this picture, Tom pointed out to Greg that he was holding the map upside-down. There is no hope.

Get a move on

2008-09-12T11:55:00.002+01:00

The calls started to come through as we belted through the Cornish countryside.

"Er, fellas," said Rob, thumbing the map, "you know we were aiming for this point for the changeover?"

"I'll take your word for it Rob. At the moment I'm busy trying not to crash the car."

"Well, Jeremy's just called in and they're already miles ahead."

"Typical Finance boys. Always underestimate and over-deliver"

"Better step on it, Phil."

Right then...

2008-09-12T10:00:00.003+01:00

A full English breakfast, courtesy of Terri and the team at Whitesands Lodge, and we in team 3 were ready for anything.

Well, I was, anyway. Rob and Tom seemed to be taking an age. So it was just me and the car:

And a monkey, for some reason:

You have to start somewhere

2008-09-12T08:58:00.000+01:00

...and the somewhere in question was a nondescript painted white line:

Completely unphazed, Ian lined up just before 6.00am:

Then he was gone into the night:

In a stunning show of brotherly solidarity, the rest of us, as one, trooped back the the hotel for breakfast and/or a couple of hours kip.

Sorry, Ian.

Setting off

2008-09-11T23:46:00.001+01:00

"So, you're serious about this, then?"

No turning back as a whole bunch of us left from work on a (mainly) sunny afternoon. Several hours, about three hundred miles, and a number of motorway service station meals later, we were to be found in Sennen, several miles from the End of the Land.

Not too sure if a few of these in the evening was a good idea...

We're (nearly) halfway there

2008-09-10T21:54:00.001+01:00

Could we reach 50% of our fundraising target by the time we set off for Cornwall tomorrow? Would be great if we could - and we're only a small amount short.

If you haven't already, a quick visit to our JustGiving site would be very welcome.

You know it makes sense.

The drivers: Steve W, Jon S and Phil S

2008-09-10T21:09:00.011+01:00

In the 'last but not least' category come our three drivers, Steve, Jon and me. The drivers will have to ferry this whole endeavour from one end of the country to the other, employing hitherto-unknown depths of navigational sills, planning and diplomacy with a bunch of highly strung and/or knackered cyclists.

Steve and Jon clearly never heard the motto of the Armed Forces: "Never Volunteer For Anything." They did, and were surprised when we bit their hands off. That'll teach 'em.

And as for me, surrounded as I was by people setting off to do this, I really had no choice. At least, as you can see from the final photo, I'm not one of those embarrassing Brummies.

Team update: Rob L - rider, team 3

2008-09-09T22:29:00.003+01:00

Another one where I don't have a photo. However, Rob participates in those Iron Man triathlon events, so I just did a Google Image search for 'Iron Man' and this is what we got. It could have been a lot worse.

Rob told us he hopes to achieve the following from this:

The fresh air!
The exercise!
The freedom of the open road!
The camaraderie!
The smell of being in a car for hours at a time with sweaty cyclists?
The unsocial hours?
The hills.
The potential for lousy weather.
The hills.
The sleep deprivation.
More hills.
And perhaps one or to cheeky sherbets at John O'Groats when we finish.

Well, if you're buying, Rob....

Team update: James W - rider, team 2

2008-09-09T22:03:00.005+01:00

A bit of a mystery contained within a puzzle wrapped in an enigma, is James.

Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he's been banned from the city of Winchester. Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that he's terrified by Play-Doh. All we know is that he's earned the nickname The Stig.

James joined the team and started sending out cycling vibes via the medium of email. He knows bikes inside-out and back-to-front. As he works in a different building, none of us knew if he existed until recently. Hence the mystery.

He's actually done LEJOG himself. On his own. He's just a cycling machine. We're just not sure if that's a mere figment of speech in James' case.

Team update: Richard F - rider, team 1

2008-09-09T21:53:00.004+01:00

Don't let the shirt and sunglasses deceive you. He's calm and professional in all his dealings.

Who am I trying to kid? He's as mad as a badger, keeps a four-foot long sledgehammer on his desk and has been known to use a pogo stick in the office. And this (the whole Queasy Riders thing) is all his fault.

Richard's objectives for the trip include not only £10,000 for a good cause, but a new World Record and possibly a film contract. Given that Richard's the bloke who does my performance reviews at work, I'll leave it to you to consider who'd play him.

I'd make a few suggestions, but I quite like having a regular pay cheque.

Team update: Tom W - rider, team 3

2008-09-04T22:32:00.005+01:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for the Poshest Man in the Western Hemisphere. Secretly, we believe Tom is still somewhat put out that we're not going to be performing the ride wearing tailcoats. And monocles.

Tom is also a firm believer in the maxim, "Whoever dies with the most toys, wins." He can say the words "Broadband dongle" without sniggering. I fully expect to see a solar powered Pimms mixer with GPS tracking and quad-band audio at some point in the proceedings.

Team update: Greg R - rider, team 2

2008-09-04T22:16:00.004+01:00

As I write this, just over one week before we set off, there is one member of the team who has yet to get on a bike. As we've seen before, Greg is scared of his bike. However, he is preparing; we suspect that he's buying up most of Western Europe's supply of Ginsters pasties for the trip.

When asked how he came to be involved, he came up with the following answer:

"Ten years ago in 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...."

Clearly Greg watches a little too much television.

Team update: Ian H - rider, team 1

2008-09-04T21:58:00.004+01:00

Ian brings a degree of youthful energy to the whole enterprise. Just by being involved, Ian has reduced the average age of the team by about five years. When we asked him what preparations he was taking for the ride, his answer was, "Get a haircut." We think it might be something to do with aerodynamics.

Outside of work, Ian plays ice hockey for Coventry Blaze ENL. We're hoping that his jersey number isn't significant.

Fame!

2008-09-03T22:37:00.003+01:00

We've reached the pages of the Coventry Telegraph.

And for those of you who respond better to pictures:

Team update: Andy D - rider, team 3

2008-09-01T22:48:00.007+01:00

Andy really doesn't like having his photo taken. Perhaps he still believes cameras are soul-catchers. Nevertheless, this exclusive video captures his cycling style perfectly.

Having said that, he's taking the physical challenge very seriously. Andy ran the London Marathon last year, which showed a formidable degree of forward planning, given that we hadn't even announced the Land's End to John O'Groats thing at that point.

Andy, known as 'Stretch Armstrong' to some, claims to be cycling to work regularly. Or at least, bringing his bike to work in the car. He's also reducing his alcohol intake to just three bottles of wine per day (and only one at work).

We all have to make sacrifices.

Team update: Jeremy C - rider, team 2

2008-09-01T21:55:00.003+01:00

Jeremy clearly has a lot of bottle. I'm very sorry, I couldn't resist it. The picture above was taken just before he took part in this year's Coventry Fun Run. We suspect it was down to the whole 'not wanting to show up in the same outfit as someone else' thing.

Jeremy, also known as 'The Mole', has a bit of a reputation for doing this sort of thing, especially when it's for a good cause. And he's looking forward to riding at 3.00am when the roads are completely deserted.

That sounds awfully like 'volunteering' to the rest of us.

Team update: Neil B - rider, team 1

2008-09-01T21:20:00.000+01:00

We fully expect Neil to be our King of the Mountains. While we're not expecting to encounter any mountains - maybe a number of steep inclines - Neil's the chap for the job. It's just as well he's in team 1, so will have to deal with whatever passes for the Alps in deepest Cornwall.

Neil claimed he was tricked into this by Ian. But then he admitted to preparing by taking on plenty of liquid replenishment. By the pint.

We think he protests just a bit too much.

Fundraising update

2008-08-25T12:57:00.002+01:00

First £1,000 raised at the JustGiving site.

Now it's getting proper serious.

(And if you haven't done your bit yet - you know what to do!)

No such thing as bad publicity

2008-08-19T11:03:00.000+01:00

Someone thought it would be a good idea to mention our quest on the company-wide intranet. Apparently, pictures speak louder than words:

(From left: Richard F, Mike W, Tom W, Phil S, Ian H, Neil B, Greg R, Andy D)

The words spoken by this picture include:"don't put the fat guy on the bike."

There's nothing quite like looking like an eedjit in front of 1300 colleagues to concentrate the mind.

Which end has the handlebars?

2008-08-11T22:32:00.000+01:00

Greg, not being in possession of a suitable bike, has borrowed Rob's second one.

I'll say that again. Rob's second bike. Rob has one road racing bike. And another one. He's like that.

By all accounts, according to Greg, this is a highly-strung thoroughbred of a machine. It bears some similarities with bikes Greg has known. In that there's a wheel at each end. But the brakes are somewhere completely random, and you have to wear special shoes that clip straight onto the pedal arrangement. A Raleigh Chopper it is not.

Greg is scared of his bike.

Driving ambition

2008-08-04T12:06:00.000+01:00

A quick word about the non-cycling members of the team. At the beginning of all this I volunteered to drive, on the basis that any attempt to cycle would end up with me in Casualty in about five minutes flat.

Some people claim that their bodies are temples. Mine's a medieval cathedral. Behold my flying buttresses.

Anyway, at the time the job of driver seemed to be an easy option. Sitting on my backside for five days, piloting a bunch of sweaty cyclists from one end of the country to the other. Hours of relative boredom, interspersed by the odd pie.

But the plan requires pin-point accuracy, timing, navigational and organisation skills. Get the changeover points wrong, for instance, and we'll never make our schedule. And I don't think our employer will be too chuffed if we're still out doing this seven days later, somehow.

This might be why no-one's volunteered to drive the other two support vehicles yet.

Gentlemen, draw your lots

2008-07-28T14:05:00.001+01:00

This is quite important. Deciding who goes in each time. We need to consider the personal attributes of each team member. The right personal chemistry.

And, most important, whether your musical tastes match.

So we used science. OK, we actually used scraps of paper and a hat.

Team 1

Neil B
Ian H
Richard F

Driver - to be advised

Team 2

James W
Greg R
Jeremy C

Driver - to be advised

Team 3

Andy D
Tom W
Rob L

Driver - Phil S

No-one escapes - biogs will be published soon.

All the gear, no idea

2008-07-14T16:47:00.005+01:00

We've got a good number of volunteers. Pretty close to the nine we need, actually. But all of them blokes, it has to be said. There are several reasons for this:

That whole "sharing a hotel room thing" was never going to be that appealing
Men tend to have a malfunctioning common-sense circuit

I got the cyclists to send their details in so we could keep track of things. All I got was a list of blokey nick-names together with a litany of all the gadgets they could bring; bikes, satnavs, iPhones, weird cycling gadgets involving funny shoes and drinking tubes.

This was, for some reason, hilarious to the ladies in the office.

We could well be the most well-equipped team ever to crash and burn in Cornwall after six hours.

Oh blimey..

2008-07-07T21:43:00.000+01:00

We've had our first donation at the JustGiving Site.

Real money has been donated. Suppose we'd better crack on and do this, then.

Team building

2008-06-26T21:33:00.002+01:00

For this to work we're going to have to have teams within a team. (Is 'sub-team' a real word? Didn't think so). So we need nine riders. Not quite there yet, but there's plenty of time.

Slowly, but surely, people are getting on board. The weekly(ish) meetings are beginning to make sense. We're starting to think about things like:

Route - what's the best way to do this? Obviously we can't use busy roads if people are cycling - especially during the night - but we do need to keep it direct if we can.
Stopping-off points - between riders and then between teams.
Hotels - this is still a point of contention. Some people want to keep this as low-key as possible, with camping being discussed. Other people (we'll call them 'sensible people', shall we?) say that this is a silly idea. Long-lost contacts at at hotel chains are being dug out.
Bikes - now this may sound daft. But at least one rider doesn't actually have a bike. Which could be interesting.

We've started to think about publicity. At the end of the day, the whole purpose of this is to raise oodles of cash for a good cause. So people need to know about it. JustGiving, here we come...

Taking shape

2008-06-12T20:02:00.003+01:00

The route is beginning to look right. Starting at 6.00am on a Friday at Land's End (most end-to-enders do it this way as the prevailing winds are at your back). By sundown on Friday we'll be somewhere around Bristol, maybe into Gloucestershire.

Saturday sees us heading straight up England, running parallel to the Welsh border and making for the Lake District. With the quieter roads in Scotland we should be at JOG by the end of Sunday.

Of course, there's no actual stopping as such. Someone's going to be cycling at any time throughout the day. There will be hotel rooms at three locations, which we'll swap between teams. The concept of hot bunking has been discussed.

Apparently, it's all the rage in the submarine service.

Any takers?

2008-06-06T20:08:00.002+01:00

So far we haven't quite got everyone we need, if the plan is to succeed. Unless people are going to agree to do a lot more cycling than is practical. Or healthy, for that matter.

So the word is going out. People are looking at their colleagues in a whole new way. "Do you think so-and-so would be up for it? They look vaguely fit."

There's now a small group of us meeting up once a week to agree a plan and think about who else we can drag into this. Things are changing fast.

A plan emerges

2008-05-29T21:56:00.002+01:00

We're beginning to have something resembling a sensible plan.

The whole 'sleeping in the van' thing was never going to be a success, to be honest. There's something about spending three solid days either cycling, or in close proximity to a bunch of blokes who have just been cycling, that failed to grab anyone's imagination.

Funny, that.

So we'll split into smaller teams. At any given time

Team A will be cycling (one rider at a time, swapping with his mates along the way);
Team B will be moving itself into position ready to take over from team A; and
Team C will be resting/sleeping, ready to take over from team B.

This involves a whole bunch more organisation, but has the distinct advantage of being marginally achievable.

Now we just need to perfect it. And find some people to help us do it. Some bikes might be nice, too.

A meeting

2008-05-23T22:34:00.000+01:00

It's one thing for a couple of blokes to come up with an idea at their desks. But to put some flesh on the bones, we really needed to get some more people involved. And this meant a Friday lunchtime pub visit.

There was a number of us gathered around a table. "Do you do food?" we'd asked the somewhat under-utilised barman, to be answered in the negative. This possibly explained how we were the only people there. It being lunchtime, and all that. When we'd walked in, he'd broken into a sweat at the thought of pulling a few pints. Asking for a couple of packets of crisps caused hyperventilation.

We'd gone into the pub with Richard's Plan:

Some blokes
One bike, shared by the above-mentioned
A van, always moving
Cyclists sleeping in the van between stints

OK. So not really a "Plan". In fact, it was pointed out that this wasn't a Very Good Idea.

By the time we'd emerged into the daylight an hour later, Plan Mark II was emerging. And we were a little hungry.

End to end

2008-05-15T21:32:00.001+01:00

Land's End to John o'Groats. 900 miles, near enough; the longest distance between two points on the British mainland. It's often referred to as LEJOG or simply 'end-to-end'.

There's a whole bunch of records for completing the trip:

Running - 9 days and 2 hours
Motorbike - 15 hours
Unicycle - 14 days and 12 hours
Cycle - 41 hours and 4 minutes

Apparently the RAF did it in about 45 minutes once, too.

Not having access to jet fighters we'll have to stick to pedals. As has already been pointed out, this normally takes a good fortnight or so. None of us could spare that amount of time, so the relay idea took shape. One person in the saddle constantly, 24/7, swapping every 90 minutes or so with the next team member. Three teams of three riders, with planned sleep and rest periods. And drivers to ferry everyone around (which is where I come in - fatboyfat is not an ironic nickname).

Now we just need to find some people.

In the beginning

2008-05-12T20:08:00.002+01:00

It all started with a conversation. Richard was wondering aloud, "What Big Thing can we do this year?" The capitals B and T were practically audible.

We wanted to do something to raise a huge wad of cash for a good cause. The cause in question being Macmillan Cancer Support, our Charity of the Year. (More capital letters; it's clearly catching). For last year's charity, someone had cycled across the country visiting each of our nearly 50 branches in a week. They raised a lot of cash, but this time Richard was itching to get involved.

"How about Land's End to John o'Groats?" someone asked.
"Nah. Takes too long," replied another. "It's 900-odd miles - you'd need to be superhuman and even if you did eight hours per day it would still take too long."

Richard was thinking. He's my boss. I can tell these things.

"How about a relay?"